He wasn't unhappy, but he has almost always lived at the farm. He was born in 1932 at a hospital about 9 miles from the farm. He grew up on the farm and has been farming since he was old enough to help his Dad, my Grandpa George. He lives to farm and farming keeps him alive. I worry that without the farm, he won't live.
He spent a few years in the army at Fort Knox. Mom was with him most of the time although she gave birth to baby Laurie alone in Grafton, ND right after he enlisted, and Rob was born in KY. Dad was proud to serve in the Army and we're proud of him and his service. His Army experience was critical to his life philosophy and the lessons learned were profound. The army lives inside the fiber of his being in a really positive way.
He spent the better part of two winters in Fargo at a senior residence with Mom. They were there because she needed to be near her doctors in Fargo. He liked it there, because he wanted her to be happy and he can make the best of anything. It was a really fancy place with people of means, who "dressed" for dinner. He did too, because it pleased Mom and he's a social guy. Everyone liked him there, the staff, the residents, and anyone he came in contact with. He was happy.
In March Mom died. We helped move Dad home to the farm and he lived there this summer, alone. He knew it was probably his last summer at the farm. He says he's afraid he'll fall and no one will find him for days. He's kind of joking, but he's kind of serious. He's not afraid, but he's actually a little afraid. Dad's never been afraid of anything that I could see. He's afraid of living without Mom more than he's afraid of living alone. But, he's tough and strong and smart. He's my dad.
Then in October, his Mom died. Grandma Joy was 107+ and we knew it was coming. He and I visited her a couple of times in the days just before she died. She had suffered some mild strokes that caused her to be unresponsive. But, she lived an amazing life and Dad loved his mommy, like we all do. He cried and mourned the loss of his mom, like we all do. I know, I just lost mine.
Grandma was in the nursing home attached to the senior residence apartments where Dad now lives. He doesn't have anything to do there. He has a TV and a number of twittering (not tweeting) old ladies who seem enamored with this new "Mr. Green." They keep asking if he plays cards and I keep hoping he'll play. They have Tuesday and Thursday socials at lunch time, but they don't "dress" for dinner each night. I wish they did.
So after we finished the sugarbeet harvest, we packed up his essential items. We moved his bed, the last furniture item he needed, to his apartment. We made enough noise so that people came by. We let the staff know he was there to stay. We made more introductions, put the coffee pot in his kitchen, filled his sock and underwear drawers. We hung shirts, pants, and a few jackets. We checked his TV. We hugged. There were a few tears, but he's strong....and then we left Dad at his senior apartment.
When I call him, he says he's looking forward to me coming back to visit. I wish I could.
There's no way to be in two places at once, but if I could be with Dad and Tom, I would. I love those guys. They are my life. My past, my present and my future. But my past is really dependent on Dad right now. Mom and Grandma Joy are gone.
I call Dad every other day and we have conversations, he doesn't have much to say so we make small talk. My heart breaks because he's my hero, a perfectly wonderful man with faults, flaws and yet, he's perfect for me. He's my Dad.
I love you Dad.
You really are perfect for me.
