I woke with a start; I was being kicked in my bed! Coming to instant awareness, I realized it was Tom kicking me hard under the covers. In disbelief I yelled, "Tom, stop it!" His kicks landed directly on my left leg and although I was only kicked for a moment, it hurt! Tom woke up when I yelled at him to stop and became aware that he had been kicking me. He asked if I was ok and then explained details of a nightmare where I was kicking him, so in this dream, he was fighting back. He explained the dream was like a black cloud or ghost over his head and that I was kicking him! He claimed he was defending himself (in his dream) and apologized a number of times. He went back to sleep right away, I didn't. By the morning, after a mostly sleepless night, I was worried and scared.
Why would this happen? He was sleeping. Is he capable of doing it again? Punching me? What about the weapons we have in our house? Would he reach for a gun or bat and use it in his sleep? I pondered these unthinkable thoughts on Sunday morning while my left leg ached from the thrashing it took in the night. I was hurt, mad, and scared. I showered and got ready for church. He walked the dog super early and got ready for his mid-morning nap. He asked me how I was feeling and apologized again. I told him my left leg hurt and I was very concerned. I expressed my thoughts about this kicking happening again, or maybe something worse. I told him I was scared, we argued, and I walked out the door for church at 8:20 am.
We're getting older and there are issues we face, but we will face them together and do whatever we must. Tom is serious about his health and fending off the aging process. He rides his bike on his stationary trainer every day, with very few exceptions. He eats very healthy and documents all his food intake. He enjoys his bourbon, scotch, whiskey and wine, but rarely in excess. He's lean, strong and weighs nearly the same as when we got married. I can't claim that. But, I'm back on a "live it" style diet, walking everyday and much more motivated than I've been in ages. It's Sober October too, so there aren't any wine calories to report in my food diary. We know what to do, I just need to do it.
Later. on Sunday afternoon, I researched why someone would strike out in their sleep and found an illness called REM sleep behavior disorder. Although I sent Tom three links describing this disorder he didn't check them out. This restless (or should I say combative) sleeping is probably the least of our worries and I can happily say, of the issues we face, the blessings still outweigh the challenges.
